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Writins of Weakeyes Cody

                                  Talented and witty writings

I Think I’ll Become A Celebrity  @ 2010

I think I’ll become a celebrity. Well, you don’t have to pass a test or anything you just do it. Only thing that gives me any preponderance at all is what kind do I want to become. It’s certain I can surpass most comedians when it comes to dirty words and profanity. True enough, I’ve had a lot more years of practice at it than most. I even know how to do it with the proper emphasis. Most comedians lack that talent. They just drop an expletive anyplace whether it’s warranted or not. I can sing as well as most I see on television. My problem is I can’t remember all the songs I used to know, but I suppose I can remember three words which is about the capacity used in most songs I hear and I only know three chords on my old guitar and my fingers are too stiff to grab but two, so that’ll come out right. Acting seems a cinch. I’ve been acting for as far back as I can remember since the first time I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. When mama asked me what I was doing I assumed my most innocent look and said, “I don’t know.”

 

The most exciting assortment of entertainers I see out there is that of the politicians. They aren’t constrained by any rules at all. Some are obviously lacking in education as demonstrated by their behavioral pattern. Then the Marxist Pollyanna airheads who tries to sell the idea that the rich are too rich and the poor are too poor. Others seem overly educated as witnessed by their vast excessiveness of words uncommonly used by the populace who stand trying to digest their meaning long after the speech has been delivered. This is usually the dude we vote for because we like to think we need a smart fella at the helm.

 

Funny thing about Presidents, I’ve seen about thirteen of them elected and every one when elected was the nations choice, and come the end of his term he was a fourteen karat s.o.b. Maybe I should steer clear of that kind of celebrity?

 

Still, they do have a lot of fun and most of the time at the taxpayers expense. That’s hard to beat. Lately, the politicians are playing at being corporate heads. Ain’t that a hoot! I reckon they feel the CEO’s have made too much too fast and they want a piece of the action? They reckon they can build better cars than the auto manufacturers. Can’t you just visualize a Chevy made by the U.S. Government? We’ve all seen that cartoon of the OSHA Cowboy. A government designed and built Chevy ought to be good for a real laugh. I’ve never seen anything put together by a committee that would fly. And most assuredly a government committee.

 

Come to think of it when a stand up comedian lays an egg he’s a dead duck. When a politician flops he just points to the other party and quips, “Their fault!” so maybe I should become one. But I would need to pass the Bar Examination. Right? Well I’d never pass that so there goes that.

 

But then, one of our Presidents was an actor. And as such a celebrity! So that brings me back to my original idea. I think I’ll become a celebrity. I mean, after all, he was one of the better Presidents. Wasn’t he? Moreover, if I get caught with my hand in the cookie jar I can assume my most ignorant look and plead innocent.

 

~ Weakeyes Cody 2010